Home Studies 3 & 4

Well, we have made it- our Home Study process is over! Wee! I couldn't be more excited. We now wait for the approval of the twenty page document that our social worker has to write involving everything from our visits.

Home Study #3 dealt a lot with who we are; what are Matthew & Emily Imlach like? Our personalities, activities we individually enjoy doing, etc. Just explaining ourselves as clearly as we could, that it would really paint a picture of who we are. Its kind of weird trying to explain yourself, you want yourself to sound like a good, well rounded person, but you also have to be honest and share your downfalls... yes I am stubborn. ;)

Home Study #4 was the actual "home tour", she had a few random questions about our heat working well, our washer and dryer, the dishwasher, do we have a proper way to store food. The only improvements we have to do are get our fire extinguisher up to date, and add another fire alarm.
Our case worker also had questions in regards to how will we handle conflict? What is that going to look like for our family, is it just Matt the punishes, or the both of us? Schooling: will we home school, private schools, or public? Its interesting to be answering these questions, to think...what will we do? What will be the best/right for the child? Thankfully the Lord has grace on us, that no matter how many times we will fail, our hope is in the Lord and he will guide us.

Once the Home Study is approved we then have to come up with $10,000 for our profile books to be seen. We will be making seven books that will be sent throughout the U.S to be seen by potential biological mothers.

So what do we do now? We wait. Wait for our Home Study to be approved, the goal is that we are approved by Thanksgiving. We also pray, pray for what is ahead, the biological parents, our baby and what God has in the future.

Lately.

Lately it seems there has been a lot going on, I have honestly been a basket of full of all emotions. We have been really busy with a variety of things, thankfully some will be ending shortly.

We had our first Home Study, it went to great! It answered those questions of what actually happens in a Home Study. For the first visit, our case worker didn't even do a "tour" of our home, I was surprised-she said that is for the final visit. Thank goodness I didn't go out of my way to really do some elbow greased cleaning, I figured she should see our home in the real way we live in it. Matt and I each had to fill out a question air filled with questions regarding ourselves, and our family. An example would be "Has been on Sleep Medications", you would then check the boxes with those you know of in your family-self included that have been on sleeping medications, etc. We were to fill them out ourselves and only the caseworker would see them. From then on, it was all about our families and our individual lives growing up. From what was our family life like, relationships with each of our parents, our parents relationship, the relationships with each of our siblings, major life events- how we all responded to it, etc. It was a very in-depth perspective of our lives and the major relationships we have. Learning that through the Home Study process they are really digging into every area of your life to get to know you more.

The Second Home Study started with going over some questions our case worker had in regards to the question air we did the first visit, to answer any questions that maybe we checked "yes" to.  An example to the question I shared from the first Home Study would be "Emily why were you on sleeping pills, and for how long? How did you do with coming off of them?" Questions would continue from there. It didn't feel uncomfortable at all, we trust our case worker, and the ability she has to match us well. Knowing that if we just be ourselves it will give her the best palate to work from.
Then she wanted us to each individually share what a "typical" day looks like in our week, from when we get up, to when we go to bed. Next we shared about a "typical" weekend. Its quite interesting to go through a day in the life of Emily/Matt....thinking about all the things you do, or don't and how you spend your time.

So we have 2 of 4 Home Studies done! Our next one is in a week and a half, they are actually really fun, something we look forward to.

One of the things that had kept us extremely busy this September was the preparations for an Estate Sale. We spent many hours at my parents house going through everything, deciding on what to keep--who gets what, items to sell, what was trash, and what we were donating. I was thankful to have many helping hands along my side to do this. Not only was it a big portion of where our time went this month, but as well as emotions. There were the highs and lows of it, and the joys of walking down memory lane. We were blessed that my father told us any money that is made at the Estate Sale, would go towards the Adoption! Thank you to all of you who came and shopped, supported and donated to help bring baby home! Now that the sale is done, in a way its closing a chapter of my childhood  home, but looking ahead, for we're using the funds that will help us create a  future childhood of memories for a family of our own.

Our sandwhich board

Little welcome area. 

Some items for sale. 

Laura & Marsha, great helpers! 

Australia

This was a poem that was shared from this weekend at our seminar, hope you enjoy! 

Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You've heard it's a wonderful place. You've read many guidebooks and feel certain you're ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip.

So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you: You'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait - and wait - and wait. 

Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, "Relax, you'll get on a flight soon." Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair!"

After a long time the ticket agent tells you, "I'm sorry, we're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat."

By boat!" you say, "going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money, I really had my heart set on going by plane." So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat. 

It's a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip.

Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many fiends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather than air.

People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are able to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, "Oh, be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible: traveling by sea is so easy."

You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you got there, but in the place itself.

Your Lamaze Class = Our Adoption Training Seminars

 

Before we went to Saturday's Seminar. 

We had a weekend full of training's, involving us going up to Portland on Friday for a 2 hour session and Saturday we spent the day in Seattle for an all day Training Seminar.
I will elaborate on Saturdays sessions for Friday was more of an Introduction.

We walked excited yet nervously into a room that had about sixteen other couples, it was quite and all seemed eager to see what we'd be learning. The morning started with meeting one of Bethany Christian Services Lawyers, he was a charming guy with a gentle spirit. He shared many stories of when he was young in his Law days, and how he developed the heart to work with Adoption cases only. He told us you can imagine the abundance of joy that fills the room the day that he is present with a family in court to finalize the Adoption, one of the few times you see Judges come out of retirement to see it happen. He also discussed how each state is different in the process and timing that is allowed for a biological parent to relinquish their rights as parents. The process of finalizing an adoption, how it varies from state to state. He was a wealth full of knowledge, very helpful with all the questions we had.

We discussed the Adoption process and why Bethany Christian Services encourages "openness" in your Adoption plan. Many people have a bad stigma on openness in Adoption, but there are many ways to go about it, we see it that it could at some point in time be a ministry for us and the birth mother.
Home Studies are required, we will have 4 visits with our Case Worker. We don't fully know all what will take place, yes she will look at our home, but its so much more then that. There will be a series of "interviewing"-a process in which she can get to know "us" and therefore hopefully match us as best as she can. We have our first one next week! Please be praying!

Our favorite part, yet also heart wrenching was the Birth Mother Panel. There were five different women who came and shared with us their story, each one different, but in the end all were grateful for the decision of giving their baby up for adoption. My heart broke at moments, but was also so encouraged and excited at many times. The moms said some of the things that bless them are being open and honest upon meeting the birth mother. Once you are chosen to have good communication, that they want to know that they are making the right choice in choosing you, they shared that them as the birth mothers have the same fears we are facing. It was so eye-opening in a sense, to really sit there and realize that they are giving you the baby growing inside of them, because they know that in the end what is "best for the baby'.

They discussed Transracial Adoption, the issues that can arise and how we in America still face racism. How when you adopt a baby that is not of your race that you have to really embrace that culture and make it apart of your lives, for you are now a multi-cultural family. The examples of the color of skin of the dolls, action figures, books, magazines you have in your home, not just be the color of your skin. It was really good to hear those facts of information, the advice we were given and how to make it apart of your lives.

Another highlight was when the Adopted Family Panel came to share their stories. There were three different families and each had a wonderful story of their adoption process. Each stated that "openness" is different for each family and can change overtime, all had positive experience with it. They shared about their first visits with the birth mothers, how to be yourself and sensitive to them and their family members. It was encouraged to start "nesting" when you are in the "waiting" portion of the adoption, this is when your home study is completed and approved! This was exciting for me, and good to hear. I didn't know when/if you set up a nursery prior to having your baby. They said to have a registry prepared, so that once you have the baby you are already set with that portion and not have to worry about it. Meaning its encouraged to have a baby shower after you have the baby home.

We were reminded in the end no matter how long it takes to be placed with a child, God is writing our story, that he has the perfect baby out there for us. To not get discouraged remaining faithful in prayer for the future birth mother and our future baby.

      You can't really read it, but this is our certificate stating we completed that portion of our training!


Thank you again for all the prayer and support!
Emily

I must say these last few months have really flown by, I can't believe its already nearing the end of August. We have been busy with projects, projects and more projects, I will fill you in on this in a bit.

Well friends, I am happy to say that it feels like we are done with Phase 1 of the Adoption process and moving on to the next Phase! Which means its time for the Home Study! This process really excites me, I feel like were in the thick of it. We have to have 3-4 home visits, and our first will be mid September.
Many people have asked me what the Home Study requires, to tell you the truth I am not sure what all will go on. I know that yes our agent will come and see our home, our lifestyle, the way we live, but its more then that...its also an on going interview. I believe we will get direction on how to write our letters to the Biological-Mother, and we will also start to put our "Book" together. Matt and I have to make six  
"Snapfish", "Apple" or "Costco" books, I guess whichever one we find that has the best price. This will show photos of our home, each other, our dog, families and the things we like to do....showing us and who we are. These books can be sent throughout the country and shown to a potential mother, she can look through our book and if she likes us "choose" us. Its an interesting process, but I know the Lord has the right little baby to be out there for us.

Back to our home, we have been painting, doing some construction, creating storage/nooks---trying to get some things done that we have had on our list. I know we won't get it all done in time, which is ok, it doesn't all need to be done right away. I will be sure to post some photos as we get things done, little by little, it sure has been fun!

I have come up with a comparison of the Adoption timeline, and a Pregnancy timeline...just my own little diddle I thought of.

Adoption:                                                                         Pregnancy:
Pre-Application                                                                Trying to Conceive
Application                                                                       Pregnant
Paperwork & Required Documents                                  Doctor Visits, Morning sickness & exhaustion
Home Study                                                                      Nesting
Placement with Baby                                                        Finding out Sex
Waiting & Nesting                                                            Waiting, nesting and getting bigger
Post Placement                                                                  Baby time/Labor

This may change down the road, but we will see how it goes!

A verse that was encouraging to me today was:
But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded. 2 Chronicles 15v7

Thank you all for the encouragement & prayers!
Emily

Physical

Its hard to believe all the things you are asked to do prior to adopting, I understand that not everyone should adopt, that is why they have such an enduring process. They want to weed out the creepers, those who shouldn't parent, and sadly those who are not fit for to make the cut.

I have been reading a lot lately, yes all pertaining to adoption. There is so much information out there, different ways to go about it all, its given us much wisdom and insight on how to go about this process.
One of my favorite things I recently read in "Called to Adoption" by Mardie Caldwell was "I believe the desire to be a parent in from the Lord, yet how we approach that desire when biological pregnancy does not happen easily also needs to include His plans for us. While many of us are called to become parents, few of us are called to adoption" Ever since we made the decision I have felt so free and full of joy again.

Physicals. Yes we had to get physicals, not just the regular before you can play sports physical....we also had to have drug tests and a TB(Tubercuosis) test, followed by paperwork our Doctors had to fill out. Not to worry we passed everything! I have to say I am thankful they do this, its wise to want potential parents to be healthy prior to taking on the life changing roll of a parent.

Thought I would share a few photos from my visit.

Waiting for the Nurse. 

Dr.Shadi Miller and I. 

She is so great if you don't have a regular MD

Many blessings to you! 

Paperwork

After doing the research of which organization to go with it was a huge blessing to find out we have a friend who works at the agency were using, with our decision to choose a Domestic Infant Adoption she too will be our caseworker. We were grateful to be able to meet with her privately to go over the services they offer, and what the process looks like.

We filled out our Pre-Application, to get approved for the actual Application, which moved along quickly. I thought to myself, “Wow that paperwork wasn’t so bad”…however a few weeks later we received a large manila envelope that was packed of information, forms, directions, etc. Oh boy, here we go. From fingerprints, background checks, references, family information, Infant First Aid and CPR certified and so on, it’s an overwhelming task.

This verse came to mind, “The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights.” Habakkuk 3v19 

I need to remind myself this and not get caught up in the long list of paperwork we have ahead of ourselves.

I found myself knee deep in papers, running in every direction all over town to get official forms; Marriage Certificate, Passports, Tax information. I feel like the people at the courthouse know me well now. It can be an exhausting task, but I am grateful to have such a loving and supporting husband to go through this with. There is a lot that they ask you to do before adopting a baby, I do understand why, we have to remain positive and productive and the Lord will see us through.

Just a little look into what some of my days are consisting of now, the desk, yes lots of desk time.