This is real

I have to be honest, the last month or so I've had to face the fact that there is a chance of seeing the birth parents when Maryellis is a year old. She will be 8 months soon, meaning that's only 4 months away. It makes my stomach drop. I have nerves I don't know how to explain or really cope with. The Lord is who I have to turn to, praying that any insecurities would deplete. Its not a daily reminder that Maryellis was adopted, from day 1 it was as though she was from us....there was such a connection- a beautiful bond, God knew she was meant to be our daughter, from the first day he started knitting her together. I am so thankful for this, for I truly couldn't imagine our lives without her.

I have had to start mindfully praying that God would take captive my negative thoughts and the "what if's"- for I know they are lies from the enemy. It doesn't do me any good to wallow, or let those thoughts run my mind rapid. I must remember my purpose, to live a life to serve the Lord, my husband and our daughter.

This is our life, we have a daughter whom we've adopted, she is ours, and forever will be. I am her mother, Matthew is her father. We chose to do an open adoption, knowing that in the long run, its whats best for us who are all involved. I have to remember this, that we are putting our daughter first. Our prayer is that she will come to know the Lord at the earliest of age, that she will be a used to further the kingdom. We pray her story will make an impact on the lives of others, that people will come to know Christ, that others will adopt, that she will make a difference.

It may be that we don't see the birth parents at the 1 year mark, the agreement was that when they were ready we would make arrangements and meet them. It could very well be when Maryellis is 3 years old, I think the odds of that are slim, but we shall see. Whatever the timing may  be, God knows, and his timing as we know is perfect. I have to fully put my trust in Him.... letting Him guide us through this life long journey.

I am so thankful to have a husband who is so confident and excited about this- Please pray for us, for  me and my heart, that I can have the peace that he does.

Blessings,
Emily