From One to Two

The countdown is on for the arrival of baby Will! (William/Wills) I am at 30 weeks and everything is going great, other then the SI Joint, (which I will be dealing with until he's born and probably a little there after) it's been a great pregnancy. 

I have such mixed feelings, (hello hormones!) Part of me is so ready for him to be here and for life to continue on, but at the same time this is my first pregnancy. After being told for years and being married almost 9 years that pregnancy wasn't in the cards for us I truly had put it to rest and mourned the physical biological reproduction of our family. After all, this may be my only pregnancy, I'm not doubting God and his miracles, for he created a miracle in me that took us by quite the surprise. (I still think it's crazy I'm even pregnant) But maybe this is the only pregnancy God has planned... I just don't know. That being said, I want to enjoy these next 10 weeks (despite any physical pains I may have) for God has given me this gift and I am forever humbled by it. But who knows, maybe the reproductive system is in high gear and we will have more biological and non-biological children in the future. The beauty of trusting God in ALL THINGS, I am not in control. 

We are so excited for him to be here and for our family to grow, then I pause to remember and reflect these are the final weeks of being a family of three and Maryellis being our one and only child. She after all made us parents and we have been beyond blessed with the four wonderful years and memories we have made with her. God knew we needed those years with her and I am forever grateful for them. I really want to enjoy these next several weeks with her, soaking up the moments we have together. I know time will go quickly and our family will never be the same. That's not to say we're THRILLED for the arrival of our son, it's just realizing there is change coming and big change at that. Another life will be born into this world and we are by Gods grace called to love, nurture and care for him. To raise him to love Jesus, he's entrusted into our lives and that blows me away. 

We have 70ish more days to go, we will be spending this time preparing for him, while soaking up family time in these long days of summer. We are excited to be a family of four, for Maryellis to be a big sister, that new memories and traditions will be created. I don't generally love change (type A) but I know this change is GOOD and it will help us to all grow, I pray we glorify God in this next season as the change approaches. 

Xoxo 

Emily 

Baby Imlach #2

I've been wanting to do a update for awhile now about our unexpected pregnancy but haven't taken the time to do so until now.

Lets go back to 2008 when Matthew and myself were married..... we had decided that if the Lord wanted us to have children he would allow it to happen in His timing. (so clearly no form of birth control) Throughout my entire puberty "becoming a woman" my cycles were never regular and seemed to come and go as they would please.  I would go weeks, months and even years without having them. When I did have them I was miserable for a few days it was hard for me to get out of bed. I have been diagnosed with PCOS as with that you don't ovulate, to my doctors understanding I had never ovulated...there are also a few other things I have been diagnosed with in previous years that would make things difficult for reproduction. (even with medical help) We figured that if we were going to get pregnant we would be ok if it happened in the beginning of our marriage not knowing how long it would take. As you know, well nothing ever happened. In fact my cycles eventually faded away and we entered the road (after one year of marriage) of infertility and starting some medical treatments. After a year of hitting dead ends and never having any success with treatments we decided it was time for us to be done. (For the record Matt was never big on doing anything super invasive on the medical side, he allowed me to get to a certain point until I had reached my breaking point. He felt as though the Lord would let it happen if he wanted it to happen and it wouldn't be through the medical world.) In winter of 2012 we started praying about Adoption and doing research of how we wanted to embark down that road. There are many options in the Adoption world; State, Foster, Private-infant, international, special needs, etc. Then choosing your agency or going through the DHS system... it can seem like a lot but through prayer and guidance our decisions all lined up and we were on a wide open road.  Adoption was something we always wanted to do, not knowing the timing of it but we wouldn't have changed our journey in any way. We brought home our daughter June of 2013 and from previous blog posts you can tell our lives have changed and our hearts are so full to be parents to this beautiful girl that made us parents.

Side note.... I had to go through a mourning process of my fertility. It took a long time and many different stages... but when you get to the point you are talking about the proper time of having a hysterectomy (my timeline is 40) you really put to rest the thought of having children. Which was heart wrenching but also a place I needed to get to- to really let go. My doctor is amazing and would never have given me one until I was ready or it seemed medically necessary. With my mothers history of breast cancer and just the overall effect of the hormones in my body...or lack there of, we decided our plan of action was to do yearly extra screening and testing to be sure that my body wasn't doing something it wasn't to be doing.

 Spring 2015 I was a mother to a almost 2 year old and life was fun and full of excitement. We were on the road of Adoption again hoping to add to our family....it seemed this time around was going longer then we had hoped but we knew that the Lord would provide. We are going through the same agency we used when we adopted Maryellis. This time we are doing the "Dual track" where you can adopt a infant but also be able to adopt a child in the system who is "adoptable".

 I usually have my annual appointments and screenings with my doctor in the Fall. Everything looked good and for the record at that point I had gone several years without a period....other then not having a period, I was good. Then one day out of no where I got a period.... I didn't know what to do. I wasn't prepared at all; physically, mentally or emotionally. I called my doctor and she was happy to hear this was happening... I was too, it made me feel "healthy". I did some tracking for a few months, things weren't by any means regular but my body was doing something. It gave me a little glean,  some hope... was this hope that I should have been leaning in to? I did.... and we in turn did some testing, showing my thyroid was low. I started Thyroid medication to regulate that and see what would happen. (this will be something I will take the rest of my life) In case you didn't know your thyroid plays a huge role in the functioning of your body and particularly in your reproduction system. Who would have thought? I asked my doctor if we could do a few things with Clomid (fertility drug) and just see what would happen. I started taking that medication mid summer and for those of you that have been on it, its awful... you start at 50mg, move up to 100mg then 150mg. You can only be on this medication for 6 months for certain effects it has on your body...then you have used up your time. I only made it to 100mg and 5 months of being on it...you feel TERRIBLE on it. From mood swings, bloating (hello gained some lbs) nausea, daily ovulation tests and hot flashes I was happy when we decided.... no this isn't for us. My doctor suggested we go see the fertility specialist in town, but we knew in our hearts we needed to be done. Allow my body to regulate and flush its system.... at this point I was thankful I was having some what "regular" cycles (but not regular at all) but still a monthly flushing of the system. My doctor still believed based on my cycles, body system and tests that I had never truly ovulated....so we would continue with the yearly in depth exams and plan for hysterectomy when my 40...sounds like fun right?!  Yet there I was again, mourning fertility in my body and moving forward with our lives to focus on adoption and our journey.

Throughout 2016 we had some movement in the adoption world, we had some interviews with birth parents but nothing seemed to really move forward... which was becoming hard on me. A friend reached out and reconnected us with a long ago family friend this fall. This family loves Jesus, loves their family of 4 biological children and loves all the foster children they see come in and out of their home. This family had a little girl who was 16 months and in the process to soon be "adoptable" through DHS. Since we had done our training through DHS and we able to adopt through them via our agency we figured we should step out and meet this little girl. We got respite approved and from November-January we spent time getting to know her through weekly hangouts of anywhere from 4-9 hours at a time. She was in a way becoming part of our family and we loved getting to know her and spend time with her. When it came time for adoption profiles to be applied to DHS in hopes of adopting her, our agency applied and in 2 weeks there were 80 families who had also hoped to adopt this little girl. (this is a lot!!!) We were sure we had a foot in the door with knowing the foster family and spending time with her. It came down to that the caseworker only chose 2 families and would not be doing a committee, we were crushed to find out we were not in the top two. The next day was my birthday and I hadn't had a cycle in 60 days.... my chest had been hurting for weeks and I chose to do a pregnancy test to confirm I wasn't pregnant... so if my chest still hurt in a week I would go and see my doctor. (I don't take that lightly since my mother passed away from a very invasive breast cancer) I was shocked to see that 4 tests later.... I indeed was POSITIVELY pregnant! I was shocked.... I called Matt at work and said "so ummm I think I'm pregnant?!?!" We just didn't believe it.... I've never had a positive ovulation test, let alone a positive pregnancy test!!! To be sure this was real I went in the next day for blood work and sure enough I was pregnant. We were overcome with shock, excitement and in awe of the Lord and HIS plans, His timing, HIS journey for our lives. We didn't "do" anything, this was a complete miracle from the Lord and He had opened my womb that had been shut for so many years before. I saw my doctor a few days later with my first ultrasound showing I was eight weeks along and would be due September 6th! This all made sense to me then... thinking about the last few weeks how emotional I had been, I had started feeling nauseous thinking I was getting sick, I was feeling so tired by 10 am and coffee had become repulsive. So we went from the feeling of "losing out" on the little girl through DHS to ok Lord this is what you had planned all along and we just had to be patient. The foster family continued to pursue with their caseworker that we be considered still in the adoption families, with a few weeks that went by, they ended up putting our family in with the other two families and choosing to do a panel. We chose to move forward with the little girl knowing that the Lord would direct us and He already knew what was going to happen, if he wanted us to have 3 children so quickly like that he would allow it to happen. We ended up not being chosen to parent the little girl, we had to go through the loss of her and remember the Lord had allowed that relationship to happen for a reason and we have to trust that. But also know that He was growing a miracle right before our eyes and in my body!

So here we are 17 1/2 weeks pregnant, everything is looking great, I am feeling good and my doctor and everyone around couldn't have been more surprised then we were! God is GOOD and Maryellis is so excited to be a big sister! Currently everything with Adoption is put on hold until baby Imlach is 6 months old, then we will update everything and be able to be on the list again. At that point I don't know whether we will do another infant adoption, or look to only adopt a child from the foster system....or even take a gander at the road of international adoption.... we will cross that road when we get there. Our hearts are full and we know that the Lord has big plans for our family, knowing we can and get to adopt again and knowing God has currently opened my womb.

Thank you for your continual support and prayers over our family...I will continue to keep you updated along our journey.

Much love,

Emily

The road of Adoption is a one less traveled and a legion of mountains at that. 

We've conquered the little mountains of paperwork, appointments, home studies, finance plans, paperwork, classes and did I mention paperwork? 😉 Now we have moved on to medium mountains, the ones where you are being looked at by birth parents and caseworkers to choose if you are who they want to parent their/a child. It's disheartening when there are long periods of time between having your book viewed and wondering what the outcome will be. 

We have had some big mountains that in the end when you get to the top in anticipation that you are going to be chosen to adopt this child and all of a sudden it's all pulled out from underneath you and you come crashing down the mountain. You have get up, allow the wounds and your heart to heal and press on the journey ahead. The comforts I find after this happens is remembering that God is fully in control of the growing of our family and the how I can have joy in the fact we have had a successful adoption in the past. 

I share this for those that have continued to pray for us that you can know things are happening, we go through valleys of exhausted waiting and sometimes the big mountains with hearts so full of hope. Press on with us on this journey and for the future children of the Imlach family. 

Thank you and much love to you

Emily 

I write this perspective as an adoptive mother who desires to have a welcoming and loving home to children. 

I hope this isn't seen as any disrespect to birth mothers and fathers out there. For what you are choosing for your child is in their best interest and the most sacrificial gift you could give. I thank you for choosing life and giving your child a chance at life. 

Labor Pains

Labor Pains 

We're currently in the phase in the Adoption process that they call "paper pregnant" meaning we've done all we can do and now we wait while potential birth parents choose to look through our profile book and hope they move forward with us to interview. As I've said in previous posts you will never know how long your "pregnancy" will last, it could be extremely long like a elephant or extremely quick like a opossum. Whichever the case they both come with Labor Pains.... And everyone labor is different. From long hours of laboring, to short and fast, physically- emotionally and mentally exhausting. Regardless the timing  it's hard work and can be extremely painful.... And we don't get epidurals. Labor pains can last several months to years, there are many ups and downs with Adoption, you have to do what you can do to keep on going, loving and focusing on your family as the Lord is preparing to grow you all. Adoption process is just as this...we're entering the Labor Pains as I call it. 

I check my email several times a day, every time I get a new email I'm anticipating it to be our case worker giving us a "profile" of a birth mother and father seeing if we want our book to be shown. Since mid May we've had our book shown several times, we are never the only ones to show our books there are several other families who are right where we are, hoping and praying to add to their families. It's easy to read through a profile and think "yes they sound so wonderful I hope they choose us!" But not too long after to know they've chosen another family or to parent themselves. Once you've been looked at by a birth parent and you've been asked to meet or so a interview it's such an amazing feeling, yet you have to protect your heart.... No matter how true or right it may seem, in the end they have to final decision and as we have experienced before no decision is final until paperwork is sighed. Which I fully understand--- it's just what makes is that much harder and giving it to God is all we can do. This is where it's hard, for me the planner-organizer- type A- girl loves to know what's ahead and be prepared. This is where the Lord is continuing to stretch me---with my faith in Him, after all he is building our family and thus far he's far exceeded my desires for our first born.

 I have to remember the lord will grow our family in His timing and he will allow us to draw closer to Him throughout our journey.

Thank you for continuing to support, encourage and pray for our family and future baby Imlach. 

Mother's Day

:::Mother’s Day:::

A day set aside to honor Mothers and those in our lives who reflect a mother.

I have gone through my own personal battles of infertility and the loss of my mother, making Mother’s Day to be a more dreaded day to come and go throughout the years. Prior to being a mother I would go church on that Sunday Mother’s Day and put a smile on my face, when my heart inside was broken and I hurt so deeply. I was broken to not have my mom to celebrate, broken that my body was unable to make me a mother when I wanted to be one so badly. I know I am not the only one who grieves on Mother’s Day, there are others who are faced with infertility, those who’ve lost babies---in ways I cannot personally relate, some with the loss of their own mothers and of course there are those who have placed their child through Adoption---giving so much of themselves to make a once hurting woman to be a M O T H E R.

As Mother’s Day comes around again each year, I reflect and see how the Lord continues to shape me. Yes, I am a mother, and I couldn’t be more happy and thankful, my lifelong desire has come true. I will always miss my mother and grieve her, I am thankful for the time I had with her and the wisdom I can take away from her role in my life. I cherish the many women the Lord has brought into my life, ones who all play their part in making sure I am staying grounded and continuing to learn and grow as a mother…. It takes a village. To all those mom’s who have been there for me, young and old, I thank you for being there to lead, guide and support me….and please continue to do so. Being a mom without your mom is incredibly hard, I miss her now more than ever.

I wouldn’t be the mom I am today without the selfless sacrifice from Maryellis’ birth parents, they gave us the best gift of making us a mother and a father, but they also gave our daughter the gift of choosing LIFE. To all birth moms and fathers who have chosen life and have placed their child through Adoption, thank you.You have helped start/grow a family and made dreams and desires come true that woudn’t have happened without you. We are so in love with our daughter and cannot imagine our lives without her in it.

As Mother’s Day is approaching, I will celebrate my mother, the mother’s in my life and the birth mother’s who’ve made me a mom.

T-Shirt Fundraiser

Please help us spread the word for our Adoption fundraiser!

We have 2 weeks to sell as many Tee-Shirts, Tank tops, Children & Toddler Tee-Shirts and baby onesies!

This is a great opportunity for our family to spread the word of our encouragement through the phrase "immeasurably more" from the verse " Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more then all we can ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." Ephesians 3:20

We know that by Gods grace and perfect plans he brought us our first daughter and that its the desire of our hearts to continue to grow our family though Adoption. Our daughter has been such a gift to our family and she has blessed us more then what we ever could have hoped for. She is one of the first miracles God has chosen to be apart of our family. We cannot wait to see what is ahead for the Imlach Family, we know by God's grace it will be more then we could have ever dreamed of.

Immeasurably More has great meaning and depth that not only applies to our family but that God has perfect plans for everyone out there. We have to put our hope and trust in him and let the journey begin.

Thank you so much for praying and considering to grow the Kingdom of God,

The Imlach Family
http://teespring.com/stores/imlach-family-adoption

Adoption Round 2

As most of you know we have started down the road of doing another Adoption. We couldn't be more excited of what the Lord has ahead for our family.

We hoped we would have been able to do a Independent Adoption, but that just wasn't seeming to work out after over a year of not much movement or progress, and we really wanted the feeling of having the support from an Agency. That led us to calling and inquiring information from a few agencies and for our family it made most sense to go with Bethany Christian Services as we did the first time.

We filled out the "Preliminary Application" on November 5th and our Home Study was approved on December 31st! There is so much paperwork involved and our first time is took us about a year to get to the point where we are today! Pretty amazing how quickly its going this time, but that is one of the benefits with going through Bethany again.

To give an Idea of what a Home Study packet looks like:

-Background Check (Birth Certificates, Finger prints)
-Discipline Policy
-Privacy Practices
-Marriage History
-Questionnaire (30 pages)
-Family History Data
-Financial Worksheet
-Insurance Information
-Pet Safety & Vaccination Documents
-Physicals, including a TB and Drug test
-Adoptive Parent training log (10 hours each of Adoption training & written essays.)
-References: Pastor, 4 friends
-Adoption Release & Consent Form
-Statement of Understanding
-Openness Covenant

Still to do:
-Profile books 

Our case worker has been wonderful and we had the opportunity to work with her a little last time which made us feel very comfortable when we had our actual Home Study.

This time around we said we are doing the "Dual Track". This means that you can be on board to be placed with a baby through the agency, as well as be placed with a child through the Foster System that is ready to be Adopted. We are open to New Born- 2 years old, and gender does not matter.... if it was Maryellis' choice we would get one of each, and that is very well possible. On the Dual Track you can get a baby/child from both. How fun and crazy would that be?!

The cost for Adoption has gone up nearly $3,000 since the last time we Adopted (which I expected, everything has gone up in the last 3 years.) and that is a scary thing, but also very exciting to see how the Lord will provide for our family. I have the saying "Maryellis was worth every penny!" God is good and he always provides.

This is my latest update and I will share more along the way. Please be praying for our family and the baby or child out there that will be joining our family someday, that the Lord will provide for us financially in a way that glorifies him, and please pray for the hearts of the future Birth Mom and Birth Father, that they will feel at peace in their decision to place a child through the gift of Adoption.

A verse that has been shared with me as an encouragement and one that I will be clinging to throughout this process is: "Delight yourselves in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4